Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Memoir Relation

David Small’s memoir “Stitches” hit home with me a lot more than I expected it to and I found myself connected to David’s portrayal of himself. David expressed throughout the memoir that he was a child with a high level of imagination, to which I have always found myself to have, like when he imagined bottled fetuses to up and jump out of their jars and run off. In car rides, I used to imagine there was some acrobatic man jumping from road sign to road sign. When talking about how he depicted his father and colleagues, he imagined that: “They were soldiers of science, and their weapon was the x-ray. X-rays could see through clothes, skin, even metal. They were miraculous wonder rays that could cure anything” (Page 26). The imagination of a child could only believe that x-rays were a miraculous cure-all to illnesses and to pretend that they were weapons in the fight for good is to imagine them almost as superheroes.
                His parents were often depicted in a negative connotation throughout the memoir, like when he describes his mother’s “language”. Her passive aggressive demeanor and the general way that she conducted herself was at times near reminiscent of my own parent’s behaviour. The slamming of kitchen cabinets and sitting angrily at the dinner table is a feeling I know all too well. Examining her behaviour, David wrote: “Her furious withdrawals could last for days, even weeks at a time because she never spoke her mind, we never knew what this was all about” (Page 15). It’s very troublesome being in those shoes as a child trying to understand why your parents are upset with you. You try to systematically come up with reasons as to what you could have done to have caused this behaviour but being older now, you see that it’s less about them being mad at you personally and more about something else that is eating away at them causing them to lash out or be uncharacteristically quiet.
                Another connection that I found myself to have with this memoir was that my relationship with my brothers is close, if not exact, to the relationship of David and his brother. When his parents were gone, his brother beckoned to him: “Scream and cry all you want, little baby. Mama’s not here. She went to play golf. I’m in charge for the next four hours!” (Page 50). If I had a nickel for every time I heard this from my brothers when I was younger, I would be filthy rich. The corruption that quickly emanates through older brothers who believe they have been bestowed with this grand power when their parents are gone is something younger siblings know all too well.

                Overall, I would say that the dysfunction portrayed in this memoir is a very true and honest representation of most families. David Small’s memoir really brings to light what most have probably tried to suppress. Reading this graphic novel helps to face those buried anxieties and elevate them by putting them out in the open. 

Connection to Memior

David’s memoir speaks a lot to the struggles of his life and his views and emotions of what his past was for himself. Family dysfunction is the basis around what he strings his story together with; leaving him with a lot of emotional burdens to carry on throughout his life. I myself came from a very loving family growing up and had a strong connection with both my mother and father, leaving me with some disconnect to his story in regards to time frame. But later on when I was finishing graduating high school is when my family took a turn for the worse and my parents began to really struggle with their marriage. I had grown up with little understanding of how to deal with family dysfunction because things had always come easy for us it seemed. But when my parents began to drift apart and refused to do anything about it, which was when I first felt a sense of being disconnected. They stopped talking and eventually only communicated to one another through my brother or myself. It wasn't easy being a messenger, especially when the message was something a child should never hear one parent say to another, let along be the one to deliver it. It’s currently been 7 years since this all began and I have to say the battle is still waging on. 

At first my family played its roles; we all went to family functions and smiled and laughed and made it seem like nothing was amiss. But pent up emotion took its toll on us all and eventually the reality of our situation began to creep though. David's family created an image of the ideal, and played that off well for a while just like my family. Yet, after time cracks in the lies began to reveal themselves and show what was really brooding underneath. David’s family took a turn for the worse and so has mine. He was able to deal with his emotions and kind of almost organize them by retelling his story. I'm currently dealing with mine because my families battle is (fingers crossed) coming to its end. Years of dysfunction have taken their toll and I understand the feeling of losing something that held such importance to me; being left to deal with my emotions alone. It gives me hope to realize that there are more people out there with similar situations and that they have found a way to overcome the battle scars; that we shouldn't hide from what we've gone through or live as if that’s all that we can be seen as. We can allow people to understand that part of our lives may not be pretty, but they will never define us.



The video link below is a girl showing how she portrays herself even though behind the scenes of what people witness, there is a lot more going on that she is dealing with.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB3chibPz8Y

Relationship to Memoir

The book Stitches is very relatable for me because there is not a lot of communication within my household. I find that David and I can relate to how to communicate our issues. He likes to draw while I enjoy blogging as a way of speaking. The communication between parents and siblings for David is very slim. Though David does have some discussions with his brother, it is only shown once. When it comes to my brother and I, we barely communicate unless it is about something important. David’s overall relationship with his Mom is non-existent and only does exist when David is sick. My Mom and I do have communication but sometimes there are days where moods get in the way and arguments can occur. The themes of the book, family, communication, lies and deceit are three that I can relate to. Family is very important to me and even though there are good and bad days, at least we try to be there to each other. Communication as mentioned is very limited. It seems that everyone has a different way of expressing their feelings, just like David’s family. Unfortunately there have been many incidents where lies have occurred in the household and many are hurt from it. Though the lies weren't as big as what David had to handle, lies are still lies and people will never gain full trust from that person. My family has been able to get over those big bumps but in David’s case, it led to him moving out.  

If there isn't communication within a family household, it is hard for family members to understand the problems and issues others are dealing with. Below is a link of a women explaining her depression to her Mother in ways to better understand what she is feeling, done via a poem:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqu4ezLQEUA

Relation to Memoir

In David's memoir, anger is used as a language, from the slamming cup board doors to the pounding exercise balls, or drums. David is the only one who isn't heard.  I'm rather familiar to this language and way of speech. Growing up in my house could be found like that on more occasions than not. As children me and my siblings were fairly quiet and a little reserved. I was the quietest, like David. I have since grown up and moved out, a little earlier than expected. Ive been running my own life for the last six year without the judgmental angry eyes of my parents ans siblings. I do not have all the negative energy that I use to have, following me around anymore. It stayed with my parents. When David opened his eyes with the help of therapy, and was able to see the things in his life that were keep him down and making him unhappy. We were both able to make the decision we needed to in order to lead a healthier and more happy life. Even if that meant leaving something behind. I like that David had a show of strength enough to take matters into his own hands, from running away from boarding school to, confronting his parents, to moving out and following his heart. I admire the free spirit in him. I recognize the survivor, because he made it.

I have included a link to a poem about freedom and about taking chances.  What would have happened if neither me nor David had taken a chance.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/caged-bird-21/







Small, David. Stitches: A Memoir--. New York:W.W. Norton, 2009. Print.

Technical Aspects: Outstanding Scenes

Jennifer's Part

Technical Aspects: Characterization

Jennifer's Part

Technical Aspects: Images

Jennifer's Part

Technical Aspects: Action

Jennifer's Part

Technical Aspects: Colour

Jennifer's Part

Theme: Sickness and Suffering

Sickness is an obvious theme within Stitches: A Memoir. David is sick for most of his youth; to him it was constant and inescapable. He spent a lot of this time in the dark and unable to talk about it with his family. David suffered a lot because of this as well. He was alone in his sickness and it effected his life greatly. He expressed though Stitches that after his surgery that he became invisible, leading to most of his high school years being unnoticed by his family as well as his friends. David suffered a lot as a child even, if his trip to visit his Grandma Murphy's can weight in on his already bleak life. She physically and emotionally beats him down. David sees firsthand the distaste people have for him through the acts of this "crazy" old woman. One can only wonder where this behaviour came from and who has been filling Grandma's ears full of reason for this reaction. This situation causes further suffering fro David when he tries to tell his mother about it and she stops him, angrily in his tracks, turning the situation back on him. She implies to David's young self that it must have been his fault. David clearly thinks he must have deserved this punishment as he is no deep in his suffering that he can justify these actions. 

David also had trouble sleeping post cancer and surgery. He felt as if the screaming in his head would ultimately never stop, and ended up spending many nights awake with the lights on. As if this wasn't a clue to his mental state, Betty just angrily shouted about the cost of the electricity bill and caused further damage by sending David away to boarding school, creating a further separation between him and the family.


Yet, the strongest display of suffering that we see in David comes from his dreams. The most prominent is when he dreams of himself as a young bat who is literally abandoned and left to weather the storm all by himself as he cries for help. This is an immense look into the relationships in this life and the obvious lack of love and security. 


On the flip side, Betty carries quite the amount of suffering herself. She must have lived a rough childhood, if Grandma Murphy's treatment of David is anything to go by. The suffering that she faced as a child has stuck with her throughout her adult life and she has transferred this attitude onto her family. Betty is also repressing and hiding her love of women. David catches her with Mrs. Dillon one afternoon in his teenage years. If she didn't resent him before she can definitely resent him for catching her in this compromising position. Betty is never able to truly be herself, having a family and a husband. She struggles to maintain her normal life regardless of how much she compromises when it comes to taking care of David and her family. She seems to value the materialistic things that represent the ideal of a happy life. When she is able to go on a shopping spree thanks to Ed's possible promotion she fills up her life with things, and yet is still not happy. 


This a a link that Betty may have found helpful in the struggles of having a child who was frequently sick. It may have helped her bond with David rather than pushing him away.




Small, David. Stitches: A Memoir--. New York: W.W. Norton, 2009. Print.